பயம் மற்றும் மன அழுத்தத்தை எவ்வாறு சமாளிப்பது?

 

• இது சுந்தர் பிச்சை அவர்கள் கூறிய யோசனை.
• தன் வாழ்வில் நிகழ்ந்ததை பற்றி இக்கேள்விக்கு விடையளித்துள்ளார்.
• நான் ஒருமுறை விடுமுறை நாளில் ஒரு குளம்பியகம் (Cofee shop) சென்றிருந்தேன்.
• காபி குடித்துக் கொண்டு இருந்த போது எதிர்பாராமல் எங்கோ இருந்து திடீரென பறந்து வந்த கரப்பான்பூச்சி அங்கிருந்த ஒருவர் மீது அமர்ந்தது.
• அவர் அதை தட்டி விட்டார்.
• பின்னர் அது ஒருவர் மீது ஒருவராக சென்று அமர ஒவ்வொருவரும் தட்டி விட்டனர்.
• அப்போது அந்த அறையிலிருந்த ஒரு பெண் மீது அமர அவர் பதட்டத்தில் கத்தி விட்டார்.
• இதனால் அந்த அறையே சிறிது நேரம் சலசலப்புடன் காணப்பட்டது.
• அவர் பதட்டத்தால் உடல் நடுங்க அந்த உயிரினம் பறந்து சென்று அந்த கடையின் பணியாளர் ஒருவர்‌ மீது அமர்ந்தது.
• அவர் பதட்டப்படவில்லை.
• நிதானித்தார்.
• உயிரினத்தின் நடமாட்டத்தை கண்காணித்தார்.
• அது ஓரிடத்தில் நின்ற போது அதை பிடித்து சாளரம் (ஜன்னல்) வழியே வெளியில் வீசி எறிந்தார்.
• அப்போது என் மனதில் ஒரு கேள்வி எழுந்தது.
• அந்த பெண்களின் இந்த செய்கைக்கு அந்த உயிரினம் தான் காரணம் என்றால் ஏன் அப்பணியாளர் பதட்டமடையவில்லை?
• அப்போதுதான் எனக்குள் ஒன்று புரிந்தது.
• நமக்கு பிரச்சினைகள் வரும்போது அதைக் கண்டு பயப்பட கூடாது.
• பதட்டமடையாமல் அடுத்து என்ன செய்யலாம்? என யோசித்தால் வழி கிடைக்கும்.
• சிக்கலான சூழ்நிலையில் பதட்டப்படாமல் நிதானமாக சிந்தித்தால் அதிலிருந்து விடுபட வழிகள் பிறக்கும்.
• எனவே எந்த சூழலிலும் பதட்டப்படக் கூடாது.

எவரின் பிரிவும் வாழ்வின் ஓட்டத்தை நிறுத்தப்போவதில்லை.

நாம் வாழ் நாள் முழுவதும் ஓடி ஓடி பணம் சம்பாதிக்க அலைகிறோம். யார் யாரயோ திருப்திப்படுத்த முனைகிறோம். 

ஆனால் அந்த மனிதனின் மரணம் அவனது சுற்றத்தின் இயககத்தையே நிறுத்தி விடுகிறதா?எவரின் பிரிவும் வாழ்வின் ஓட்டத்தை நிறுத்தப்போவதில்லை.

உங்கள் பிரிவின் ஒருசில மணிநேரங்களில் அழுகுரல்கள் முழுமையாக அடங்கியிருக்கும்,

அடுத்த வேளை உணவுக்கு  ஆர்டர்கள்  ஹோட்டலுக்கு சென்றிருக்கும்,

பேரன் பேத்திகள் ஓடிப்பிடித்து விளையாடிக் கொண்டிருக்க,..

வந்த கூட்டத்தில் ஓர் இளம்பெண்ணும் ஆணும் காதல் புன்னகையுடன் பரஸ்பரம் போன் நம்பர்கள் மாற்றிக்கொள்வர்.

ஒரு அவசர சூழ்நிலையால் நேரில் வர இயலவில்லையென உறவினர் ஒருவர் உங்கள் மகளிடம் போனில் பேசுவார்.

இத்தனை தூரம் வந்தாச்சு போற வழியில் அங்கேயும் பார்த்துவிட்டுப் போலாமா என வெளியூர் உறவுகள் சுற்றுலாத் திட்டங்கள் ரகசியாமாய் வகுத்திருப்பர்,

தன்னுடைய பங்குக்கு மேல் சிலநூறு ரூபாய்கள் அதிகமாக செலவாகிவிட்டதென ஒரு பங்காளி கணக்கிட்டு நொந்துகொண்டிருப்பார்..

கூட்டம் மெல்ல மெல்லமாய்க் கரையத் தொடங்கும்..

அடுத்து வரும் நாட்களில்

நீங்கள் இறந்ததே தெரியாமல் உங்கள் தொலைபேசிக்கு சில அழைப்புகள் வரக்கூடும்,..

உங்கள் அலுவலகம் உங்கள் இடத்துக்கு வேறொருவரை அவசரமாகத் தேடத் துவங்கியிருக்கும்,

ஒரு வாரம் கழிந்து, உங்கள் இறப்புச் செய்தி கேள்விப்பட்டு, 

உங்கள் கடைசிப் பதிவு என்னவென ஆர்வம் கலந்த சோகத்தோடு சில பேஸ்புக் நண்பர்கள் தேடக்கூடும்.

இரண்டு வாரங்களில் உங்கள் மகன் மகளின் எமெர்ஜென்சி லீவு முடிந்து பணிக்கு திரும்பிடுவர், 

ஒரு மாதமுடிவில் உங்கள் வாழ்க்கைத்துணை டிவியில் வரும் ஏதோ ஒரு நகைச்சுவைக் காட்சிக்கு சிரிப்பார்,

அடுத்துவரும் மாதங்களில், உங்கள் நெருங்கிய உறவுகள் மீண்டும் சினிமாவுக்கும், பீச்சுக்கும் சகஜமாய்ச் செல்லத்துவங்கியிருப்பர்,

அத்தனை பேரின் உலகமும் எப்போதும்போல் மிக இயல்பாக இயங்கிக்கொண்டிருக்கும்,

ஒரு பெரிய ஆலமரத்தின் இலை ஒன்று வாடி உதிர்ந்ததற்கும், நீங்கள் வாழ்ந்து மறைந்ததற்கும் எள்ளளவும் வித்தியாசம் இல்லாதது போல, அத்தனையுமே சுலபமாய், வேகமாய், எந்தச் சலனமுமின்றி நடக்கும் 

நீங்களே வியக்கும் வேகத்தில் இந்த உலகத்தால் நீங்கள் மறக்கப்படுவீர்கள்,

இதற்கிடையில் உங்கள் முதல்வருடத் திதிகொடுத்தல் மட்டும் மிகச்சிரத்தையாக நடக்கும்.

கண்மூடித் திறக்கும் நொடியில்

வருடங்கள் பல ஓடியிருக்கும், உங்களைப் பற்றிப் பேச யாருக்கும் எதுவுமே இருக்காது, 

என்றாவது ஒருநாள், பழைய புகைப்படங்களைப் பார்க்கையில் மட்டும், உங்கள் வாரிசுகளில் ஒருவர் உங்களை நினைவுகொள்ளக்கூடும்,

உங்கள் ஊரில், நீங்கள் நெருங்கிப் பழகிய ஆயிரம் ஆயிரம் பேர்களில், யாரோ ஒருவர் மட்டும், நீங்கள் இருந்ததாய்,அபூர்வமாய் உங்களைப்பற்றிப் யாரிடமோ பேசக்கூடும்..

மறுபிறவி உண்மையென்றால் மட்டும் நீங்கள் வேறெங்கேயோ, வேறு எவராகவோ வாழ்ந்துகொண்டிருக்கக்கூடும்..

மற்றபடி, நீங்கள் எதுவுமே இல்லாமல் ஆகி,பேரிருளில் மூழ்கி பல பத்தாண்டுகள் ஆகியிருக்கும்,

இப்போது சொல்லுங்கள்.. உங்களை இத்தனை சீக்கிரம் மறக்கக் காத்திருக்கும் மனிதர்களில் யாரைத் திருப்திப்படுத்த இன்று, இப்போது, இவ்வளவு பதற்றமாய் ஓடிக்கொண்டிருக்கிறீர்கள்?.

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අම්මෝ ආතල් නම් දෙන්න එපා

කිරිපුතේ..😂😂😂😂

පොලිස් මාමා හොරෙන් බලනවා 🤣🤣🤣🤣

ඔයා මරු හොදේ . ..ආතල් කොච්චියක් 🤭

වලදානවා

වලදානවා.. 😁

වළ දාල උඩින් මල් දානව🌝😂🥺 අම්මු එකහ්😝

නියමයි සුපිරි

හරිම කුචීතයී බබා😂😂

පවු හැබැයි😂

wala dala udin mal danawa😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂aha gatthada manda akki😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂

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How To Read People Like A Pro: 17 Tricks From Psychology

Now, don’t get freaked out. This article is not about reading minds like Edward Cullen of Twilight. Only vampires can do that (if they exist).

It’s about knowing, beyond words, what other people want to say. It’s about sensing what they truly mean, even when they say otherwise. The ability to read people properly will significantly affect your social, personal, and work life.

When you understand how another person is feeling, you can then adapt your message and communication style to make sure it is received in the best way possible. It’s not that hard. This may sound cliche, but you don’t need any special powers to know how to read people.

So, here are 17 tips for reading people like a pro:

1. Be objective and open-minded

Before you attempt to read people, you must first practice having an open mind. Do not let your emotions and past experiences influence your impressions and opinions. If you judge people easily, it will cause you to misread people. Be objective in approaching every interaction and situation.

According to Judith Orloff M.D in Psychology Today, “Logic alone won’t tell you the whole story about anybody. You must surrender to other vital forms of information so that you can learn to read the important non-verbal intuitive cues that people give off.” She says that to see someone clearly you must “remain objective and receive information neutrally without distorting it.”

2. Pay attention to appearance

Judith Orloff M.D says that when reading others, try to notice people’s appearance. What are they wearing? Are they dressed for success, which indicates they are ambitious? Or they are wearing jeans and a t-shirt, which means comfort?

Do they have a pendant such as a cross or Buddha which indicates their spiritual values? Whatever they wear, you can sense something from it. Sam Gosling, a personality psychologist at the University of Texas and author of the book Snoop, says that you should pay attention to “identity claims”. These are things people choose to show with their appearances, such as a t-shirt with slogans, tattoos, or rings.

Here’s Gosling:

“Identity claims are deliberate statements we make about our attitudes, goals, values, etc… One of the things that are really important to keep in mind about identity statements is because these are deliberate, many people assume we are being manipulative with them and we’re being disingenuous, but I think there’s little evidence to suggest that that goes on. I think, generally, people really do want to be known. They’ll even do that at the expense of looking good. They’d rather be seen authentically than positively if it came down to that choice.”

Also, some findings suggest that perhaps psychological traits can – to some degree – be read on a person’s face.

Vinita Mehta Ph.D., Ed.M. explains in Psychology Today:

“Higher levels of Extraversion were related to more protruding nose and lips, a recessive chin, and masseter muscles (the jaw muscles used in chewing). By contrast, the face of those with lower Extraversion levels showed the reverse pattern, in which the area around the nose appeared to press against the face. These findings suggest that perhaps psychological traits can—to some degree—be read on a person’s face, though more studies would be needed to understand this phenomenon.”

3. Pay attention to people’s posture

A person’s posture says a lot about his or her attitude. If they hold their head high, it means they are confident. If they walk indecisively or cower, it may be a sign of low self-esteem.

Judith Orloff M.D says that when it comes to posture, look for if they hold their high in a confident manner, or if they walk indecisively or cower, which indicates low self-esteem.

4. Watch their physical movements

More than words, people express their feelings through movements. For example, we lean toward those we like and away from those we don’t.

“If they’re leaning in if their hands are out and open, palms facing up, that’s a good sign that they are connecting with you,” says Evy Poumpouras, a former Secret Service special agent.

If you have observed that the person is leaning away, it means he or she is putting up a wall. Another movement to notice is the crossing of arms or legs. If you see a person doing this, it suggests defensiveness, anger, or self-protection. Evy Poumpouras says that “if someone is leaning in and all of a sudden you say something and their arms crossed, now I know I said something that this person didn’t like.”

On the other hand, hiding one’s hands means that one is hiding something. But if you see them lip biting or cuticle picking, it means they are trying to soothe themselves under pressure or in an awkward situation.

5. Try to interpret facial expressions

Unless you are a master of the poker face, your emotions will be etched on your face. According to Judith Orloff M.D, there are several ways to interpret facial expressions. They are:

When you see deep frown lines forming, it may suggest the person is worried or overthinking. On the contrary, a person who is truly laughing will show crow’s feet – the smile lines of joy.

Another thing to watch out for are pursed lips which can signal anger, contempt, or bitterness. Additionally, a clenched jaw and teeth grinding are signs of tension. Also, Susan Krauss Whitbourne Ph.D. in Psychology Today describes a classification of smiles in Psychology Today.

They are:

Reward smile: Lips pulled directly upwards, dimples at the sides of mouth and eyebrows lift. This communicates positive feedback.

Affiliative smile: Involves pressing lips together while also making little dimples at the side of the mouth. Sign of friendship and liking.

Dominance smile: Upper lip is raised and cheeks get pushed upwards, the nose gets wrinkled, indentation between nose and mouth deepens and raised upper lids.

6. Don’t run away from small talk

Maybe you feel unease with small talk. However, it can give you the opportunity to familiarize yourself with the other person. Small talk helps you observe how a person behaves in normal situations. You can then use it as a benchmark to accurately spot any behavior that is out of the ordinary.

In The Silent Language of Leaders: How Body Language Can Help–or Hurt–How You Lead, the author points out a number of errors that people make when trying to read people, and one of them was that they don’t get a baseline of how they normally act.

7. Scan the person’s overall behavior

We sometimes assume that if a particular action is done, like looking down at the floor during a conversation, it means the person is nervous or anxious. But if you are already familiar with a person, you will know whether the person avoids eye contact or is just relaxing when he or she looks down the floor.

According to LaRae Quy, a former counterintelligence agent for the FBI, “people have different quirks and patterns of behavior” and some of these behaviors “could simply be mannerisms”.

That’s why creating a baseline of others’ normal behavior will help you. Learn how to identify any deviation from a person’s usual behavior. You will know something is wrong when you notice a change in their tone, pace, or body language.

8. Ask direct questions to get a straight answer

To get a straight answer, you have to stay away from vague questions. Always ask questions that require a straight answer. Remember not to interrupt when the person is answering your question. Instead, you can observe the person’s mannerisms as they talk. INC advises to look for “action words” to get insight into how someone thinks:

“For example, if your boss says she’s “decided to go with brand X,” the action word is decided. This single word indicates that most likely your boss 1) is not impulsive, 2) weighed several options, and 3) thinks things through…Action words offer insights into the way a person thinks.”

9. Notice the words and tone used

When you talk to someone, try to notice the words they use. When they say “This is my second promotion,” they want you to know that they also earned a promotion previously.

Guess what? These types of people rely on others to boost their self-image. They want you to praise them so they will feel good about themselves. According to Judith Orloff M.D, you should also look out for the tone used:

“The tone and volume of our voice can tell much about our emotions. Sound frequencies create vibrations. When reading people, notice how their tone of voice affects you. Ask yourself: Does their tone feel soothing? Or is it abrasive, snippy, or whiny?”

11. Listen to what your gut says

Listen to your gut especially when you first meet a person. It will give you a visceral reaction before you have a chance to think. Your gut will relay whether you’re at ease or not with the person.

According to Judith Orloff M.D, “Gut feelings occur quickly, a primal response. They’re your internal truth meter, relaying if you can trust people.”

12. Feel the goosebumps, if any

Goosebumps happen when we resonate with people who move or inspire us. It can also happen when a person is saying something that strikes a chord within us.

“When we look at research [on the chills], outside of the evolutionary response to warm ourselves, it’s music that seems to trigger it, as well as moving experiences and even movies,” said Kevin Gilliland, a Dallas-based clinical psychologist.

Additionally, we feel it when we experience deja-vu, a recognition that you’ve known someone before, though you’ve actually never met.

13. Pay attention to flashes of insight

Sometimes, you may get an “ah-ha” moment about people. But stay alert because these insights come in a flash. We tend to miss it because we go on to the next thought so rapidly that these critical insights get lost. According to Judith Orloff M.D, gut feelings are your internal truth meter:

“Gut feelings occur quickly, a primal response. They’re your internal truth meter, relaying if you can trust people.”

In The Art of Resilience: A Practical Guide to Developing Mental Toughness, we outline exactly what it means to be mentally tough. We highlight 20 of the most resilient people in the world and break down what traits they have in common. We then equip you with 10 resilience-building tools that you can start using today.

14. Sense the person’s presence

This means that we have to feel the overall emotional atmosphere surrounding us. When you read people, try to notice if the person has a friendly presence that attracts you or you face a wall, making you back off. According to Judith Orloff M.D, presence is:

“This is the overall energy we emit, not necessarily congruent with words or behavior.”

15. Watch people’s eyes

They say our eyes are the doorway to our souls – they transmit powerful energies. So take the time to observe people’s eyes. When you look, can you see a caring soul? Are they mean, angry, or guarded?

According to Scientific American, eyes can “convey whether we are lying or telling the truth”. They can also “serve as a good detector for what people like” by looking at pupil size.

16. Don’t make assumptions

This almost goes without saying, but keep in mind that assumptions result in misunderstandings. When you easily make assumptions without even knowing the person, it brings more trouble.

In The Silent Language of Leaders: How Body Language Can Help–or Hurt–How You Lead, the author pointed out several errors people make when reading others and one of them was not being conscious of biases. For example, if you assume that your friend is angry, then whatever they say or do will seem like concealed anger to you.

Do not jump to conclusions when your wife goes to bed early rather than watching your favorite TV show with you. Maybe she’s just tired – don’t think she is not interested in spending time with you. The key to reading people like a pro is to relax and keep your mind open and positive.

17. Practice watching people

Practice makes perfect so the more you study people, the more you can read them accurately. As an exercise, try to practice watching talk shows on mute. Watching their facial expressions and actions will help you see what people are feeling when they are talking, without hearing any words. Then, watch again with the volume on and see if you are right with your observation.

Conclusion

One of the most important things you can know is how to read people. It makes you sensitive to the struggles and needs of the people around you. It is a skill that you can learn to further boost your EQ.

The good news is that anyone (that includes you!) has the ability to read people. The thing is, you just need to know what to look for.

 

22 Simple Ways to Make a Girl Fall in Love With You

If you’re looking for ways to make a girl fall in love with you, the first step is to make sure she’s interested in you, then be yourself. Falling in love is a natural process that happens between two compatible people, so there’s no way to force it. There are, however, many traits and behaviors you can exhibit to help her get all the feels.

Accept Her As She Is

One of the main ways a woman falls in love is when she knows she can be herself around you. Avoiding put-downs and reminding her every once in a while why you love a particular quirk of hers can help her feel comfortable being who she is. While there may be things you’d love to see her improve for her own well-being and for your relationship, letting her know you take the good with the bad goes a long way in helping her feel the love.

Be Open With Emotions

In order to truly love you, a woman needs to know who you are at your core. If you want her to fall in love with you, you’re going to have to show some vulnerability in private and be open with your emotions. When a woman knows and understands how you feel in different instances, she’ll feel like she has a connection to your soul.

Put Her First

Many women appreciate feeling like the most important person in their life, at least the majority of the time. Putting her first doesn’t mean disregarding all friends and family or even yourself. It means finding moments where you can put her needs, desires, or feelings before your own. This showing of selflessness lets her know she truly matters to you and is a sign that you’ll be a great parent one day if you choose to have kids.

Understand and Honor Her Love Language

Dr. Gary Chapman created the 5 Love Languages, which show how a person gives and receives love. You can work on making her fall in love with you every day by knowing what her love language is and “speaking” it. For example, if she prefers acts of service, try to cook dinner for her frequently. Taking the time to understand her and cater to her unique needs shows a genuine interest in making her happy.

Be Confident and Passionate

Women don’t want to be in relationships with insecure men who need constant caretaking, so be confident in who you are and what you do. There’s a fine line between confidence and arrogance, so tread lightly. One way to show confidence is through your passions. Seeing you have a passion for your life and hobbies shows her it’s possible for there to be passion between the two of you.

Show Appropriate Affection

You can show affection in a relationship in lots of different ways from hugs to care packages. Knowing her well will help you determine what type and level of affection is appropriate to help her feel love for you. If she’s into PDA, then hold her hand whenever you’re out in public. If you know PDA makes her uncomfortable, save the snuggling for your couch.

Lighten Her Load

Modern women carry big loads between working full-time, cooking, and caring for the home and family members. Finding ways to lighten her load on a regular basis without any prompting from her or any expectation of reward can show her that you want to take care of her too. While women are traditionally the caretakers, they love being cared for.

Show You’re Reliable and Dependable

Women forge love relationships partly to have a dependable partner in life to help carry them through difficult times. If she knows that you’ll be there to pick her up when she falls or work in tandem to dig out of a deep hole, she’ll definitely feel love for you. Be there with a positive attitude and willing spirit when she asks for help and follow through to show you’re reliable and dependable. This also creates a sense of security in the relationship and in life.

Create Intimate Moments Frequently

Intimate moments are not equal to sexual relations but are instances where you are really focused on each other in a private way. Studies have shown by staring into each other’s eyes then answering deeply personal questions, you can make someone fall in love with you. Look for times that make sense where you can stare into each other’s eyes for a few seconds or minutes to create intimacy. Use intimate conversation starters while you’re eating dinner or hanging on the couch.

Show Your Generous and Caring Side

Above all else, the trait women are most turned on by is kindness. Whether you’re being nice to her, her family, strangers, or even animals, look for ways to show that you are naturally thoughtful. Your investment in kindness on a daily basis shows her that life with you will be positive and nurturing.

Be Faithful

If you want a woman to fall in love with you, being faithful to her is a must. Have a conversation about the stage your relationship is in and the expectations in terms of being exclusive. If her expectation is that you’re not flirting or dating other women, then don’t do those things. Your ability to stay focused on her despite distractions shows you’re worth her love.

Surprise Her Once in A While

Adventure and excitement in a relationship are important to women, this keeps the relationship dynamic. When you create memorable dates or bring her fun surprises, make sure they are safe surprises that won’t push her too far outside her comfort zone or you too far outside yours. Blindfolding her to drive to a romantic picnic is an example of a good, easy surprise whereas springing another woman on her in the bedroom might be an unsafe surprise.

Be a Good Listener

Be an active listener. She will not fall in love with someone who can’t remember what she said. If it helps, write a note to yourself after important conversations. This will help you remember what you talked about. Be interested in the outcome or resolution of any problem she has.

Offer Sincere Compliments

Give the object of your affection sincere compliments designed to help her feel special. Recognize a new outfit or a flattering new haircut. Compliment her work, her attempts at something new, and the things you genuinely like about her. Don’t be overly dramatic. Keep the compliments short but genuine.

Earn and Expect Trust

For many women, trust is the most important factor in falling in love. Some women give their trust upfront, but you should still show her that you’re working to earn it. Earning trust is a long process where you need to be honest, follow-through, and keep information private when requested. If you lie or cheat, you’ll lose trust and may never get it back. Trust her and expect trust in return.

Dress to Impress

Kick your wardrobe into “hot” mode. Remember the ZZ Top song, “Every Girl’s Crazy About a Sharp Dressed Man?” These words hold true today. Women want to be seen with a man who takes pride in his appearance, so get your men’s wardrobe essentials in order. There’s no one style that makes all women fall in love, so shoot for the best version of your style.

Be Chivalrous

Chivalry is not and will never be dead for many women. Open doors for her. Offer a hand up or hand down when it is needed. Be polite. Don’t use poor grammar or offensive language in front of her. These simple acts show her that she’s special and you want her to be happy and cared for.

Respect Her As an Equal

In today’s world, men and women are more equal than ever in terms of responsibilities. No matter who makes more money in the relationship or who works longer hours, give her the respect she deserves and she’ll be in love with you. You can honor her role in your relationship, her role at work, or anything else she’s involved in as a sign of respect by acknowledging its importance.

Send Sweet Correspondence

The things you say in person or even via text can help make a girl fall in love with you. Share your thoughts and say sweet things to her from time to time so it feels genuine and not contrived. Everything from funny romantic notes left on the kitchen counter to a simple “thinking of you” text can go a long way.

Give Her Occasional Tokens and Gifts

Thoughtful gifts that show you were listening or know who she is can help make a girl fall in love with you. Elaborating gift-giving all the time won’t be as effective as giving great gifts on holidays and a few other random times throughout the year. From romantic gift ideas for her to sending flowers, occasional tokens of love and gifts are part of the love equation.

Be Romantic in the Bedroom

While it’s not the most important factor, your sex life can impact her love for you. Learn how to have romantic sex and make those moments special. Bedroom behaviors that are more focused on her than yours will also make her feel special and cared for.

Make Future Plans

Women like stability in relationships, so making future plans when appropriate can help her fall in love with you. Everything from planning a vacation together for next year to talking about your future goals as individuals can help her feel secure in your relationship.

Show Her You’re the Love of Her Life

If you know you’re in love with a woman and want her to feel the same way, understanding how to get the love you want can help you create a loving relationship with the woman of your dreams. Making a girl fall deeply and madly in love with you isn’t a matter of force, it’s about being the best version of you and understanding how that accentuates her life.

 

8 Subtle Signs You’re MORE Attractive Than You Think

Do you think you’re attractive? Do you feel confident in your appearance? If you don’t – that’s a big problem. Chances are though, there are subtle signs you are an attractive guy. You’ve just missed them because introspection is hard.

Studies show being less confident in yourself makes you more likely to experience depression. I’m putting your worries at ease to stop that from happening. In today’s article, I’m sharing with you 8 subtle signs you’re a more attractive guy than you think.

You Find Yourself Locking Eyes With Lots Of People

Research by the University of Oslo in 2015 found that your brain gives you a dopamine shot when looking at something pleasurable. This dopamine shot is equivalent to eating your favorite food or winning the lottery.

As humans, we tend to stare at things we find pleasurable – art, film, and other people. There are different eye contact levels – so don’t assume that every woman you lock eyes with is interested. Sometimes our eyes are just wandering around, and they coincidentally meet with someone else’s eyes.

But – if a woman keeps looking at you even for short periods, it means she likes what she sees. If the eye contact comes with a smile, it can convey the intense emotions she has for you. This is considered a subconscious attempt to establish a connection with you.

Furthermore, suppose you notice a woman making eye contact, and she doesn’t look away when you catch her staring. In that case, this means she is even more interested and is trying to give you a hint to start a conversation.

Let’s face it, guys – we need all the hints we can get these days. And we definitely need to keep our appearance up with a natural face moisturizer – there’s no point in getting attention if we have a dry, flaky face!

Women Raise Their Eyebrows When They Look At You

When someone raises their eyebrows, it usually means they are either surprised or caught off guard. If someone looks at you and subconsciously raises their eyebrows, it’s another one of the subtle signs you’re attractive.

In the 1995 book, The Human Face: Emotions, Identities, and Masks, Dane Archer found that humans have less control over the top of their heads (eyes, brows, and forehead) regarding emotions.

Like smiling, raising your eyebrows is a natural reaction conducted by your brain; it can be done consciously, but usually isn’t. When women see an attractive person, they can also subconsciously make “duck” lips. Now – I’m not talking about your standard “duckface” that is found on social media. This is a much more subtle duckface that only lasts one or two seconds.

Look for a slight puckering of her lips – she’s subconsciously telling you she wants to kiss you. This gesture can be compared to licking lips, which also signals the same wish.

You Have a Growth Mindset

There are two different types of mindsets you can have – fixed and growth. The latter is one of the signs you are a more attractive guy than you think. In a fixed mindset, people believe their necessary qualities, like their intelligence or talent, are simply fixed traits. They spend their time documenting their intelligence or talent instead of developing them. They also believe that talent alone creates success—without effort.

In a growth mindset, people believe that their most basic abilities can be developed through dedication and hard work—brains and talent are just the starting point. This view creates a love of learning and resilience that is essential for great accomplishment.

Someone who has a fixed mindset is fixed – they never progress. However, someone with a growth mindset thinks anything is possible. Since you’re an RMRS reader – I know you have a growth mindset – otherwise, you wouldn’t be reading this article to improve yourself.

To women, this mindset is irresistible. Not only are you more positive, but you’re much more enjoyable to be around. Women are more attracted to men who are continually looking to improve themselves. This is also what makes you an excellent team player, which is very important and very attractive.

People Value Your Opinion Over Others

This point needs a little bit of background to be fully understood. In the 2011 book, “Beauty Pays: Why Attractive People Are More Successful,” Daniel Hamermesh found that attractive people earn 3-4% more than people with below-average looks and get hired sooner and promotions more quickly.

This shows that attractive people are more successful than unattractive people, and others will naturally assume you are successful based on looks. Following the idea that you’re successful, others naturally seek out the opinion of people like you. Women (or men) will naturally come to you for your thoughts because they want to emulate you and your success.

Others Go Out of Their Way To Help You

Have you noticed that others jump at the opportunity to help you with a problem you’re having – regardless of the situation?

The reason for this may be another one of the subtle signs you’re attractive. People are more likely to lend you a helping hand. We tend to subconsciously be friendlier and more generous to those we find to be beautiful.

People naturally help others when they want to feel better about themselves and appear better to others. In essence, she’s trying to help you to make herself look better in your eyes.

The halo effect comes into play here as well. The halo effect is a cognitive bias in which our overall impression of a person influences how we feel about their character.

For instance, if you’re viewed as attractive – the odds are others will think you’re naturally a good person. By helping you, a woman is trying to rise to your level of perceived goodness.

People Ask You A Lot of Questions

Why do you ask someone questions? The answer is simple – you want to get to know that person better. With over seven billion people globally, why on Earth would this beautiful woman be asking you so many questions?

Another one of the subtle signs you’re attractive is that women want to know you better. She’s taking the first step. She’s curious about you and is putting in effort towards understanding you.

Subconsciously, she’s also trying to get you to like her more. A study from the Journal of Personality and Social Psychology in 2017 found that people who ask more questions, particularly follow-up questions, are better liked by their conversation partners.

When people are instructed to ask more questions, they are perceived as higher in responsiveness. This interpersonal construct captures listening, understanding, validation, and care.

So the next time a woman asks you a bunch of questions – don’t be annoyed – take it as a compliment and start talking to her. Odds are she finds you attractive.

Everyone Around You is Happy

In “Biology: Your Brain In Love,” Helen Fisher found that when someone sees someone attractive, their brain hits them with dopamine – similar to how you feel when you look at a good painting.

It’s much more common for someone to smile at strangers they find attractive than someone they don’t. If you happen to notice that you get a friendly smile from most people you pass by on the street; chances are, they find you attractive.

We tend to smile at things or people that are aesthetically pleasing subconsciously. Giving a quick smile can be a way of flirting, but more often than not, it’s just a natural reaction to something pleasing to the eye.

Another sign that you’re more attractive than you think is that everyone laughs at your jokes. Now – you might be the next Larry David – but chances are you tell some jokes that fall flat.

If you notice that more times than not, others are laughing at your jokes, you’re probably attractive. Women are attracted to a good sense of humor in general and love when you smile. Don’t be afraid to smile and laugh with people – don’t laugh at people.

People Are Shocked That You Have Any Insecurities

We all have insecurities – you do, and so do I. It’s natural for people to have them – we have to make sure they don’t dominate our lives.

However, often we see signs someone is an attractive guy and put them on a pedestal. We assume they are perfect – an example of this is looking up to celebrities even though their ordinary people.

Looking at you, people think that you have somehow avoided all the common male insecurities. Everything is perfect at your end because you look self-confident and self-sufficient.

This is why most people are surprised when you mention specific aspects of your appearance that you’re not happy with or want to change. But the truth is, everyone struggles with low self-esteem from time to time. Any flaws you find seem minuscule to them; they probably don’t even notice whatever imperfection you spot in the mirror.