12 Important Unspoken Social Rules You Should Know.

 12 Important Unspoken Social Rules You Should Know. 

1. Don't interrupt when someone is talking. - neuroticals do this CONSTANTLY. Despite touting it as a rule, people actually seem to only get upset when an autistic person or person with ADHD does it. People with ADHD can't hold their thought, and know this, and need to share it while they have it... That's why they sometimes try to get it out immediately. If you don't interrupt others, try leaving breaks in the conversation for the other person to say something. 

2. Don't judge someone by their appearance. Many people have missed opportunities as a result of it. While I generally agree with this, it's important for those of us that are ND to know that NTs WILL be making assumptions about us based on appearances, and how we look and carry ourselves matters an inordinate amount to them. If you find yourself judging someone else on their appearance, maybe consider that how it looks wasn't more important than the pain something else may cause or the sensory overwhelm. It's not more important than body temperature regulation, and that person's ability to prioritize their self-care.

3. Always respect someone's personal space. If they ask for it, honor it, but a lot of people have difficulty with spacial recognition, even and perhaps especially, with regard to where their own body is in relation to something/someone else... Additionally, correct personal space distance is cultural, familial, and regional... Don't assume someone is trying to violate your boundaries. Just let them know your preferences. 

4. Never assume something about someone. Talk to them if you care. 

5. Apologize when you're wrong. Ego never adds anything valuable to you. Rather it subtracts.  Often it's a trauma response that causes an inability to take accountability for your actions, but it's actually vital to learn to do so. If someone takes accountability, especially if it seems like it was difficult, don't rub their noses in it. Don't punish behaviors you want to see. 

6. Don't talk badly about someone behind their back. It is a way of telling the audience you will do the same about them. More than that it's unkind. If you wouldn't say it to their faces, don't say it at all.

7. Be honest, even if it's hard. And say No when it is not comfortable to you, even if it hurts. More women are killed this way, I swear... Honesty is vital, and so is saying no when it matters, but never do something that's going to endanger your life or someone else's, including saying no, if there's a way for you to stay safe. I'm not going to judge you for surviving.   

8. Don't gossip or spread rumours, even on social media. Don't believe anything you hear about a person from a third party, BUT always try to believe victims, and honor their decisions to remove a person from their lives for any reason. 

9. Don't stare or make inappropriate comments about people. Don't comment anything about a person if they don't have control over it, or can't easily change it. This involves their body shapes... I could write a novel about that, but I'll just leave it there. 

10. Treat others how you want to be treated. No. Treat others how they want to be treated. 

11. Offer help when you can, but do not be compelled to do so. Offer help when you can, but make sure your needs are met. 

12. Don't let your anger control your actions. Or your fear.